Diary of the Dead
by Sempiternal-Silence
Summary: Dear whoever reads this: In this notebook is what I've held in for my entire sophomore year. Pain. Agony. Lust. Some memories might be good, some may be bad. Don't say I didn't warn you. **Gwen Matthews**
1. One

_"You can't save me!" She yelled. Her body was mangled and bloody, like a zombie. I tried to run from her, but she caught up. She pounced on my back and I fell to the ground. I tried to get her off me, but she was much stronger. She bit into my neck and tore the flesh off..._

That was when I woke up. I was drenched in sweat and shaking in my bed. I hated that dream. I had it almost every night. The clock glowed 3:35 a.m. I flopped back down and stared at the ceiling in the darkness. There was no way I was going back to sleep. I turned my desk lamp on and started searching under my bed for my drawing notebook and colored pencils. I found my pencils, but I couldn't find my drawing notebook. I found something else instead. A small blue notebook with black stars and a red heart in the middle. Where did this come from? I opened it. There was a note on the front cover.

**_Dear whoever reads this,_**

**_In this notebook is what I've held in for my entire sophomore year. Pain. Agony. Lust. Some memories might be good, some may be bad. Don't say I didn't warn you. _**

**_Gwen Matthews_**

The next page I flipped was blank. My hands were shaking as I flipped the blank page. There was soft, flowing cursive on this page. I immediately knew that this was her writing.

_**09.10.10 Monday**_

_**Today was my first day at a new school. This bitch named Lindsay decided it would be funny to put gum in my hair. I punched her in the arm and she smacked my face. I ran off towards the science hall and crashed into this black-haired girl named Heather. She helped me hide from Lindsay. Apparently, they used to be best friends, but then Lindsay stole Heather's boyfriend. Or something like that. Anyways, Heather is a grade ahead of me and she likes all the same things I do. She's really cool. We might hang out later this week if Mom lets me... **Gwen****_

I blinked and turned the page.

**_09.11.10 Tuesday _**

**_Dad's death day. Nothing else. **Gwen**_**

**_09.12.10 Wednesday_**

**_Heather and I hung out at her huge mansion today. She's an only child with overprotective parents. She showed me her huge cd collection. She had way more cd's than I did. All five My Chemical Romance cd's, plus a concert DVD. She asked if I wanted to watch it with her, so I said yes. It was pretty kick-ass. We made plans to go to the mall on Saturday for Homecoming dresses. **Gwen**_**

I remember seeing both of them at the mall. Of course, I didn't know them at the time. I was just starting out as the cashier in that store. Heather and Gwen looked at me a few times, but they never came up to me until I rung up their dresses. I shook my head and shoved the memory out. I had to get some sleep...

**~6:30 am ~1.17.12.~**

My alarm blared in my ear. I rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with a _thud! _Ouch...I rubbed my head and slowly got up. I put on my black Ray-Bans so I could see. My brother started banging on the door.

"Trent! Can you keep it down in there? I'm trying to sleep!" He yelled. "And turn that music down!"

Just to piss him off, I turned it up to max volume and started belting out the lyrics. "If your heart is a pillow, this love's the bed! Tell me what is this music inside my head?! Don't wake me uppppppppppppppp!" I heard him storm off to the back of the house, to our parents' room. Hah, that'll show you to mess with me. I started grabbing clothes that I could wear today. A pair of faded Levi's, a black Maroon 5 t-shirt and my worn-out green Converse. Today would just be another day in Hell, I could already feel it.

* * *

**First Hour-Gym**

I hate gym. I can give you thirty reasons why we shouldn't have to be in gym class, then my instructor, Mr. Edelworth, can give you two times that amount on why we should do gym. I always get picked on in the locker room by the stereo-typical jocks, Geoff Harding and Tyler Adams. They're not just assholes and jerks. They're all that and much more. I'm usually the last one to the locker room, which kinda sucks. They always spot me, even if I come in through the back entrance.

"Hey, lover-boy! Come here for a second!" Geoff called out. Tyler scoffed and fist-bumped him.

Ever since they found out that Gwen and I started going out (and even after we split up), he's felt the urge to call me "Lover-boy" every time he sees me. And I stress the phrase "every time." The only good thing? I don't have any other classes with Geoff. Tyler is another story. We have five classes together, including lunch. But, the thing is, he's scared of me. I'm dead serious right now. When he's around Geoff and his group of dicks, he's on top of the world. But, when it's just me and him, he has this really scared look in his eyes and tries to advert his staring. Which, lets face it, is a whole lot better than getting poked and made fun of.

"No." I said coldly. I continued to get dressed in our ugly gym uniforms. Whoever thought that it was a good idea to have our school colours be orange, yellow and brown must have been high as the Empire State building. I shoved my clothes and my backpack in the small gym locker and went out to the gym.

So, here's the sitch: Every other day, we have a cardio day. What does that mean? We run laps outside on the track (if it's nice) for the span of the period. And if your me, who absolutely hates running, today is going to be a hard day.

"Okay, let's do our warm-up excersizes." Edelwoth called out.

Warm-ups are pretty easy. I wish we could just do warm-ups for the whole period. Jumping jacks, lunges, etc. That's the only part of gym I love. Oh, and dodgeball. That's also a favourite of mine. After our warm-ups, we headed outside. I checked the weater earlier on my iPhone, said it was supposed to be 52 degrees. Sure as hell didn't feel like that. Good thing I brought a big, fluffy sweater and jogging pants. I stood awkwardly next to a girl named Beth. I didn't know her too well, but she's just as bad of a runner as I am, so it's good to stick with her.

"Hi Trent." She said.

"Hi." I said back.

"You look warm. New sweater?"

"No, it's my dad's. I stole it after reading the weather report for today."

"Yeah. I wish I brought a sweater..." She said with a lisp.

I nodded. Geoff bumped into me with his meaty shoulder. "Whoops. Sorry, loser."

I kicked the dirt underneath my mangled running shoes. I tried my best to ignore him, but it didn't always work. Edelworth explained what we were doing today. Six laps, try not to stop. Pfft, yeah, right. Edelworth already hated my guts for not trying during soccer and basketball, so how pissed do you think he's going to get when he sees me stopping to catch my breath? Heh, you don't even want to know.

We began running. Geoff and Tyler took off and led the group off by sprinting around the track faster than everyone else. They usually turned this into a race. I jogged peacefully with Beth at the back of the group. Tyler and Geoff were catching up pretty fast, but it's not like I was surprised. They're both on the football team, so of course they have to run fast. They flicked my head and I groaned.

"See you at the finish line, lover-boy." Geoff said as they ran off.

"Why do you let them egg you on like that?" Beth asked.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. If I could have my way, they'd be dead. Okay, maybe not that extreme. I would've sent them somewhere cold, like Greenland or Iceland. They could freeze their asses off for all I cared.

"Come on, McKinley! Pick up the pace!" Edelworth yelled at me. I flipped him off when he wasn't looking.

* * *

**Second hour: Honours Chemistry**

Well, I don't have this class with any of the Jock-asses, thank God, so I didn't have to worry about getting gum put in my hair. But, there was one thing. Gwen used to be my lab partner. Since...what happened, I haven't had another one, everyone else was too scared to be my partner. Which was completely fine, I like working alone. And I had a little bit of free time to read what's in Gwen's notebook. Here's hoping the teacher doesn't catch me...

_**09.13.10 Thursday**_

_**I met someone today. He's really nice and funy and cute and smart. He's in my Honours Chem. class. We're lab partners. His name is Trent. Isn't that such a sexy name?**_

Here, I blushed. She thought my name was sexy? Huh. Who would've guessed.

**_Anyways, we talked about music and what we wanted to do after we got oout of high school. He told me he wants to be a singer. I asked if he could sing for me and he told me that he would think about it. Hopefully, that's a good sign. I told him that I wanted to be an art teacher and he said that was pretty cool. Then, we argued about who was a better lead singer for Escape the Fate: Craig Mabbit or Ronnie Radke. I said Craig and he said Ronnie. He told me that Craig should just stick to Blessthefall. I laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm. I wonder if anyone else in the world has that kind of debate...**Gwen**_**

I closed the notebook and started writing down the notes for our new lesson: Valence electrons. I groaned and sunk down in my seat.

"Trent? Are you complaining back there?" Ms. Richards asked.

"No..." I said quietly.

"Would you care to to the first equation, since you sound so very excited about this?"

_Hell no. _"Sure. Like I have a choice." I muttered under my breath. I got up and walked to the front of the classroom. I took the dry-erase markre out of Ms. Richards's hand and started writing the equation on the board. I wrote everything down correctly and sighed when I finished. She looked...flabbergasted when I put the marker down. I went back to my seat without another word. Trent McKinley: 1. Emily Richards: 0.

* * *

**So, i'm going to stop there. Comments? Requests? Questions? Reviews? Should I continue?**

_**This Song Is A Curse...**_


	2. Two

**I read over the first chapter to this and saw all the spelling errors I made. It pissed me off. et me comment on something: Trent's schedule. It's based off of mine. Except I'm not in any advanced classes. Trent just seems like a smart dude. **

**Spliced-Up-Angel: Oh, thanks :)**

**kutiekat44: I always make Geoff mean in my stories. It's a bad habit of mine...**

* * *

**Third Hour: Advanced Algebra**

Since I sit in the front of the classroom, I couldn't read. I had to stick to the lesson our teacher was babbling on about. I zoned out and thought back to the first day Gwen and I met.

_She didn't walk into the room. She floated into the room. I liked her already. I perked up when she gave her introduction. _

_"Umm...I'm Gwen and...It's nice to meet all of you." She said quietly. _

_"Thank you Gwen. Now...to find you a lab partner...Erhm...Trent? Do you mind if Gwen's your partner?" _

_"It's alright with me if it's alright with her." _

_She floated to the seat next to mine at the back of the room. _

_"I'm Trent. But, I guess you already knew that." I whispered to her. She smiled. _

_"Gwen. But, you knew that, too." _

_I smirked as she sat down. She was wearing a low-cut black top with a black sweater and a blue skirt with fishnets and knee-high boots. Her style was pretty cool. She glanced at the bracelets on my wrists. _

_"You like Blessthefall?" _

_"Yeah, I'm a huge fan." _

_"Fave song?" _

_"'Promised Ones'. You?" _

_"'Guys Like You Make Us Look Like Idiots.'" She said. I nodded. Not bad. _

_"You play guitar?" _

_"Yeah, how did you know?" _

_"The calluses on your fingers say it all." Whoa. She noticed? I looked at my fingers. They were pretty noticeable. _

_"Oh, hah." _

_"You sing, too?" _

_"A little, yeah. I was considering going pro after I graduate." I flushed. _

_"Cool. You should sing me something." _

_"I'll think about it..." I added with a wink. She blushed and turned away. _

* * *

"Trent? Trent, the answer, please?"

I snapped out of my daydream. Mrs. Castellanos looked pretty pissed. I looked over the problem. "The limit is...2."

"Correct. Now, please save your daydreaming for another class, not mine." Everyone giggled and I slumped down in my seat. At least I got the problem right.

I started scribbling on my notebook. It's just something I do when I'm anxious or bored. In this case, it was both. The gy behind me was tapping on his desk and it was really getting on my nerves. I tried to block it out, but I couldn't. I spun around.

"Dude, can you stop?" He looked at me weirdly.

"I'm just trying to practice my keyboard solo. Gosh!" He resumed tapping. I groaned loudly.

"Trent? Harold? Is there a problem?"

I shook my head. "No." He said to the teacher. "Idiot..." He mumbled to me. Okay, that's it.

"Can you keep your comments to yourself, asshole?!" I yelled.

"Trent! Dean's office, now!" Everyone 'Oohed.'

"That's so Fifth grade, guys. Get over it." I grabbed my messenger bag and trudged downstairs to the Dean's office. They knew me pretty well down there. A Freshman girl was walking down the hall at the same time I was.

"Uhm...can you tell me where room 312 is?"

"Up the stairs, third on your left."

"Thanks so much!"

"Whatever."

I opened the door to the main office. "Hello Trent, what can I do for you?" The desk woman asked.

"Dean."

"Again?"

I nodded. "Math class. What do you expect from me?"

"Better than this."

I laughed and went to Mr. Pearson's office. He was on the phone when I walked in. He motioned for me to sit down. I did and started twiddling my thumbs.

"Okay...sure...I love you, too. 'Bye." He hung up. "Trent, Trent, Trent." He shook his head and made a 'tsk' noise.

"John, John, John." I mimicked. He glared at me. Maybe even through my soul.

"Watch it." He growled.

"Sorry."

"So, what is it this time?" Mr. Pearson asked.

"This guy in math called me an idiot, so I called him an asshole."

"You know that isn't right. You shouldn't stoop to his level."

"Yeah, that's what my dad says, and look where we are now." I slid my foot under my body.

"Trent, have you ever considered Anger Management?"

"No. I don't need it."

"Are you sure about that? Your detention record says otherwise."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm fine."

"What about a Grief counselor? I know it's been a year since-"

"I said I'm fine!" I yelled. Okay, didn't mean to do that.

"Trent, your grades are perfect, but your attitude isn't. I'm going to put a request through Student Services that you start seeing Ms. Fisher immediately." He started typing something on his laptop. I couldn't stop him unless I was willing to get suspended. "Once a week, you'll receive a note in your second period class, saying when to meet her. You'll meet for the whole period. Got it?"

I nodded, only because I didn't want to fight with him or get detention. "Yeah..."

"You can go back to class." The bell for fourth hour rang. My second least favourite class of the day.

"See you later, Trent."

"Peace, John."

* * *

**Fourth Hour: World Literature**

Thankfully, I got there early so I could get a seat in the back of the classroom. I pulled out Gwen's journal and started reading what was on the next page. We were reviewing for our upcoming test on _The Iliad. _

_**09.14.10 Friday **_

_**Last night, I had a dream about Trent. Not just any ordinary dream. That's right, you guessed it, a sex dream. Yeah, who would've known that after meeting a cute guy after one day that I would have a wet dream about him. And man, was it detailed. He was pretty amazing in the sack, let me tell you...**_

I shoved the notebook back in my bag. No way I could read this without getting a majour hard-on. I sunk down into my seat and started filling out the review packet for the test.

Class went by pretty fast because the next thing I knew, the bell was ringing for fifth hour. Lunch. My favourite.

**Fifth Hour: Lunch**

Believe it or not, upperclassmen are allowed to leave the school for lunch. I usually just find a tree over by the creek behind our school. It was always really quiet back there. I brought my guitar out so I could practice the song I had just learned. Sleeping With Sirens "Let Love Bleed Red."

"_Lay me down...and tell me everything will be alright. Things will be alright..." _

A girl was walking along the path leading to where I was sitting. She was coming over here. Oh, great. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially not a girl.

"Hi. Was that you just playing?"

_'No, it was the tree.' _I wanted to say. There was no one else around, hello! "Yeah." I said out loud.

"You're really good."

"Thanks."

She sat down next to me. "I'm Zoey. I just moved here."

"Trent." I stared at my guitar and kept strumming.

"Do you mind if I stay with you? You look lkie you could use some company."

_No. Leave. _"Sure, you can stay."

"Thanks."


	3. Three

**I'm trying to update more often, but that's just not happening. When Winter Break comes around, I'll update more often. Or...I'll try to. (^^;)**

**I don't own Total Drama. But, I wish I did.**

* * *

**Still Fifth Hour: Lunch**

"So, what grade are you in?" I asked Zoey, just to be...nice.

"I'm a Sophomore. You?"

"Junior."

"How's that going? Is there a lot of homework?"

"Not really." I sighed and strummed my guitar. "I don't really care about school."

"Why not? Don't you want to get into college?"

"No, I wasn't planning on going. I'm going to be a musician."

"Oh. Well, I hope you're successful!" She added with a sweet smile.

Okay, this Zoey chick is alright. I mean, I don't have many friends here. Scratch that. I don't have _any _friends here. Beth doesn't really count...I just talk to her if there's no one else to talk to, you know? She's more of an acquaintance. I sighed again.

"You sigh a lot. Is something wrong? I don't mind listening if there is..." She asked. Do I really sigh that much?

"Nahh. I'm alright." Even though I'm really not. I started humming "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" and kept strumming my guitar.

* * *

**Sixth Hour: History **

Another class where I could sit in the back and read Gwen's journal and (hopefully) not get caught. I pulled it out of my bag and skipped over the wet dream. I wasn't going to read that until I got home.

_**09.15.10 Saturday **_

_**I went to the mall with Heather today so we could try on Homecoming dresses. I told her I didn't really want to go, since it was a social event and I'm not very social. I'm nothing like her. She's got a whole group of friends and I have nobody. Except her, of course. I insisted that we go into Hot Topic, even though I knew there wouldn't be any dresses in there. For Homecoming, at least. I went to the back wall and looked around at the band tees when Trent came up to me. **_

Yeah, I remember that day like the back of my left hand. I kept reading.

_**He asked if there was anything he could help with. I said no and kept looking at the Asking Alexandria shirts. He commented on it, saying that they were an amazing band. Which they fucking are. **_

_**Anyways, I paid for the shirt, then he asked me if I was going to the Homecoming dance. I said I wasn't sure, even though I knew I didn't want to go. And guess what? **_

_**HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO WITH HIM!**_

I'm surprised at how shocked she was. Really. It's not like I was keeping it a secret.

_**Of course, I said yes. I mean, really. I couldn't turn down an offer like that! **Gwen****_

Okay, yeah, I liked her, but I did only ask her just to be nice and all. I know that's kind of a dick move, but I'm a nice guy. She was the new kid and I felt bad. I did want to be her friend, though. She was really cool. I hate saying that. _Was. _

**Seventh Hour: Art Survey**

I threw my bag on my table and grabbed my latest project from my folder. The seat next to me was still empty. Gwen used to sit next to me. _Used to. _Past tense again. I really need to stop that. The red-haired girl from earlier, Zoey, came into the class just as the bell rang. I pulled out a pencil and began to draw. My project is supposed to be a portrait. It could be of anything. A flower-pot. A CD cover. A person. Mine was of Gwen. It was almost done.

"Class, can I have your attention?" Ms. Sherteo asked. We all turned towards her. "This is our new student, Zoey Crenshaw. Please give her your utmost respect, alright?" We all nodded and returned to our projects. I put my ear buds in and cranked some My Chemical Romance. I continued drawing until someone tapped me on the shoulder. Zoey. I pulled out one of my ear buds.

"Can I sit here?" She said as she started to sit.

"No!" I yelled without thinking. Everyone turned towards me.

"Trent? Is everything okay?" Ms. Sherteo was coming over.

I shook my head. "She can't sit here. She can't!" I whispered. I quickly got up and ran out of the classroom. I ran into the foyer and curled up into the corner. I couldn't replace Gwen! Not this early.

_It's been a year, Trent. You can let go. _

Who the hell are you, my father? My relationship guru?

_You have Zoey now..._

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I waited for an answer. Nothing. Great, now people are going to think I'm schizophrenic. I listen to the voice in my head. I run like a lunatic out of my classroom. Maybe I needed to be locked up or something. Get far away from here, move into a nice, padded room. I sighed and put my head on my knees. Man, I _did _sigh a lot.

"Trent?" A female voice said. I looked up, thinking it was Gwen. Nope, just Zoey. I sniffled and stood up.

"Hey."

"What was that back there? You really scared me." She looked up at me with eyes full of worry.

"I...I don't want to talk about it."

"It's not like I'll tell anyone."

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"But-"

"I don't want to talk about it! What's so hard for you to understand?!" I yelled.

"I...I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"Why would you be worried about a freak kid who runs out of classrooms, yelling that you can't sit next to me because my dead girlfriend used to sit there and I don't want anyone else next to me?!" Okay, I think I said too much.

"Dead...girlfriend? What happened to her?"

"I'd rather not. It's a sensitive subject for me. Besides, I barely know you." I sniffled again and wiped my eyes.

"Okay...Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here, okay? Even though we barely know each other."

"Yeah. Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Are you going to come back to class?"

"Yeah...In a few. I just need some alone time."

"Okay..."


End file.
